


Count Cipher's Pet Shop

by Goofy_Boss



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Detective!Dipper, Detective!Wendy, Gore, Multi, Pet Shop Owner!Bill, Pet Shop of Horros AU, Tagging Graphic Violence for gore, bara!Dipper, pretty much if you've read pet shop of horror or saw the ova then you know what will happen, updated tag: Billdip is no longer going to be a thing in here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-24
Updated: 2017-08-24
Packaged: 2018-12-19 10:56:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11896296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Goofy_Boss/pseuds/Goofy_Boss
Summary: Somewhere in the forest of Gravity Falls there lies a simple pet shop. In this pet shop you not only buy a pet, but you will also find yourself buying hopes and dreams.Just sign a contract with Cipher and follow the rules that were clearly listed, and you can find a happy companionship with your new animal companion.





	Count Cipher's Pet Shop

**Author's Note:**

> This is just something really self indulgent that I wanted to write, namely because I'm surprised no one has written an AU based on Pet Shop of Horror. If you enjoy this and wish for me to continue, then feel free to leave a comment.

Mr. Poolcheck was known for being very strict, especially in regards to the public pool he ran. Treating it like people were in the military, even putting the lifeguards he hired through a rigorous boot camp like training.

However, things were not going well for the man. For one thing, it was currently the off season for swimming. Even if it was the middle of summer, people have been avoiding his pool to instead venture out to the lake, some even taking the long drive to get to the beach.

The man was usually on high alert no matter what, but just this once he was not paying attention to where he was walking until he found himself on a pathway in the forest that he has never seen before. 

As he walked, Mr. Poolcheck was surprised to find a lone building standing in the middle of a clearing. The building looked almost as old and decrepit as the Mystery Shack, even sharing the same triangle motif as the tourist trap that Ramirez fellow ran.

There was a sign over the entrance that read “Count C-----’s Pets” which brought more confusion. Mr. Poolcheck didn’t even know a pet shop existed here in the forest.

Curious, the lifeguard made his way towards the shop. When he pressed his hand against the screen door, he jumped back slightly when it seemed to slide open on its own. Poking his head in, Mr. Poolcheck was surprised to find how well decorated the place was.

Wooden floors with an elegant looking yellow rug sitting under the long wooden table, Mr. Poolcheck could see two couches and two chairs, he could only assume they all had yellow cushions based on what he saw of the furniture.

His attention was torn from the decor by a pale hand poking from a set of black curtains. He found himself staring at the person who came through.

Very pale, and wearing a set of black robes with a gold flower print, the person looked at Mr. Poolcheck with a very large and unsettling grin. His hair was black and very straight, though a small strand looks to have been dyed yellow. The hair was also very long and tied up in a ponytail. As he stepped forward, the person’s grin seemed to have widened to an impossible level as they brought their hand up to their face. 

“Oh my, I did not expect to get a customer so soon, welcome to my grandfather’s pet shop, I am Cipher,” the person greeted, voice somewhat high pitched but still very masculine. He then moved to lounge on one of the two couches, motioning for Mr. Poolcheck to sit across from him. “How may I help you?”

Feeling very unnerved with this Cipher, Mr. Poolcheck kept his guard up as he sat in the couch. He eyed Cipher’s hands, taking note of the long manicured nails that were painted black. He was able to get a closer look to better observe, taking note of how one of Cipher’s eyes was a bright gold while the other looked to be a bright blue. He could also tell the man running this shop had a very sharp face, making him look fairly feminine. 

“I don’t do pets, I just got lost,” Mr. Poolcheck grunted, moving to get up. 

Chuckling, Cipher held up a hand to stop the lifeguard. “Oh trust me, we sell more than pets here. This store also sells dreams, hopes, wishes… Even your deepest desires,” he explained, standing up as he eyed Mr. Poolcheck. “In fact, I think I have the perfect pet for you, if you will follow me,” motioning for Mr. Poolcheck to follow, Cipher headed through the curtains.

Shaking his head, Mr. Poolcheck considered leaving. However, he felt his curiosity start to grow. Not even thinking, he went through the curtains only to be amazed at the size of the hallway. He never expected a building that looked small on the outside to have this much space.

The hallway was dark with various lanterns that glowed blue, the walls lined with different doors that made Mr. Poolcheck wonder what was behind them.

His attention was grabbed when Cipher whistled, the man standing in front of one of the doors. “Over here.”

Walking over, Mr. Poolcheck looked at the door before turning towards Cipher. He was confused when Cipher pulled out an incense stick before going into the room.

Stepping inside, Mr. Poolcheck coughed at the strong smell of incense before his attention was stolen by the large pool.

“Over here, we have a very rare species,” Cipher hummed, motioning to the dark figure that was slowly swimming towards the surface. “I am sure you will be pleased with what you see.”

When the being made it to the surface, Mr. Poolcheck went wide eyed at the sight.

What looked to be a little boy popped out of the water. His hair was very short and black, practically in a buzz cut. Face round and childish, the boy looked up at Mr. Poolcheck with wide eyes. However, the man noticed that the eyes were yellow with horizontal pupils, his hands were hooves, and he even had small goat horns.

Narrowing his eyes, Mr. Poolcheck turned and glared at Cipher. “Is this a joke? You’re literally selling me a kid!” He snapped, balling his fist in preparation to punch the shop keeper.

Letting out a laugh, Cipher held his hands up in defense. “Now now, no need to be violent. Yes, this is a kid, after all that is what you call a young goat. However, he is not a normal goat, as this is the very rare Sea-Goat,” he explained.

Looking at the kid, Mr. Poolcheck noticed the long black fishtail that started to poke out of the water, presumably belonging to the kid, the lifeguard looked at Cipher. Something told him he would need to get this kid away from here.

“Fine, how much,” he stated, expecting some sort of outrageous price.

Chuckling, Cipher shook his head as he lead Mr. Poolcheck towards a nearby table with two chairs. “We will discuss price after a month, but first I must ask that you sign a contract,” he began, pulling out a paper.

“What do you mean by contract?” Mr. Poolcheck asked, sitting across from Cipher as he grabbed the paper and looked it over.

“Just some legal things. Each pet I sell comes with a contract that has three rules,” Cipher began, holding up three fingers. “If you break any of the rules then the shop will not be held accountable for any harm that comes to you or your pet.”

Raising an eyebrow, Mr. Poolcheck looked at the kid in the pool with confusion. He doubted the kid would be able to cause any major harm.

“For this pet, the rules are simple. Do not show it to anyone, make sure it is housed in a large pool of saltwater, and most important of all, do not put any stress on it. Sea-Goats, especially one this young, needs love and nurturing in a very quiet place,” Cipher explained.

Nodding to show he understood, Mr. Poolcheck signed the contract as he looked at the kid. “So, how do you expect me to take him home?” He asked, already knowing where he would house the kid.

“Trust me, we will have him delivered to you tomorrow evening. That should give you plenty of time to prepare,” Cipher said, smiling at the lifeguard. “Pleasure doing business with you Mr. Poolcheck~”

-*-*-*-

Hearing the sound of his new pet (could he even call it a pet? It still looks like a human) swimming in the pool, Mr. Poolcheck continued to prepare the meal he set up. Honestly he would admit the kid was starting to grow on him, he almost thought of it as his own child for some reason.

As he fed the pet, Mr. Poolcheck began to wonder. One of the rules said to not show the pet to anyone, but he would have to train some new lifeguards and this pool was what he usually uses.

“Kid, you really are a piece of work,” he said, struggling to keep his voice down. The lifeguard was not used to keeping his voice down, but he had a set of rules that he planned on following to a T.

Giving an innocent smile, Kid looked up at Mr. Poolcheck with his goat eyes. Finishing with his food, the pet dove back underwater.

Sighing, Mr. Poolcheck looked around until his eyes fell on the training field right by the pool. Getting an idea on how to train lifeguards, he stood up straight. “Kid, if you are smart enough to stay hidden then I might make this work.” 

Watching the pool for a few more moments, Mr. Poolcheck turned and went into the storage room to grab some ‘Help Wanted’ signs. Perhaps he could get some people trained up in time for the season.

-*-*-*-

Looking at the line of people who actually came for lifeguard training, Mr. Poolcheck gave each a critical eye. Inhaling, he turned and glared at the recruit at the far end. “What is that I smell?” He asked, voice low and cold as he made his way over to the teenager that was wearing swim trunks and a tank top.

“Um, doughnuts? You want one?” The teen asked, very confused as he pulled a bag out to show the lifeguard.

Blinking, Mr. Poolcheck raised an eyebrow as he eyed the recruit and the doughnut bag. “You brought doughnuts, actual doughnuts to my fucking pool!” He shouted, slapping the bag down to the ground. He then pointed towards the makeshift track. “That’s it! All of you are to run ten laps around the track! Get this waste out of your system, because while you are here you will not poison your bodies!” He emphasised this by stomping on the bag, crushing the remaining doughnuts.

Meanwhile, Kid had poked his head just barely above the water. He was curious on what his owner was doing, however when Mr. Poolcheck started shouting, Kid found himself freaking out. Diving back under, the young Sea-Goat curled up and pressed his hands over his ears, hoping to block out the sounds. 

However, it seemed like the sounds were carrying through. Shivering, Kid found himself wanting to simply cry.

As his recruits were working out, Mr. Poolcheck found himself literally screaming at each of them for not being up to par for his standards. Something told him he would be yelling for the rest of the off season at the recruits he got.

-*-*-*-

As the sun set on the last day of the second week of training, Mr. Poolceck gave a frustrated sigh at how the recruits were still joking and not taking things seriously. Being a lifeguard was serious business, and he really wanted to make these trainees see just what he meant.

Shaking his head, the lifeguard went over to the cooler by the pool to get some food for Kid. Setting up the platter, Mr. Poolcheck made his way over to the pool to feed his pet. Honestly he found the pet to be very relaxing, especially after these stressful weeks of training.

“Kid?” He called out, keeping his voice soft. Mr. Poolcheck would admit that he was starting to worry. Ever since he started training the new lifeguards, Kid would start to get more and more skittish. Usually he would be able to calm the boy down by keeping his voice soft, but this time something seemed wrong.

Setting the food down, Mr. Poolcheck slowly went into the water and looked around. His sharp eyes catching onto a dark figure in the deep end of the pool. “There you are, come on Kid. It’s time to eat,” he blinked at how Kid simply stayed where he was.

Starting to feel frustrated, Mr. Poolcheck narrowed his eyes. “I’m giving you a warning, please get over here so you can eat,” his voice was straining, coming close to being at a yelling level. When the Sea-Goat child refused to come over, Mr. Poolcheck just snapped.

“I said get over here you brat!” He shouted, huffing as he made his way over to his pet.

Flinching and whimpering at how he was being yelled at, Kid looked up at Mr. Poolcheck before closing his eyes. Bringing his hooves up, Kid suddenly slammed them into Mr. Poolcheck’s chest before lowering his head.

“Oof-!” Losing his breath at the sudden impact of hooves, Mr. Poolcheck looked up and glared at Kid. Bringing his hands up in self defense, he prepared to fight off his pet.

Diving under, Kid swam around quickly. When Mr. Poolcheck tried to follow his movement, Kid smirked at how the lifeguard was starting to get dizzy. Suddenly changing direction, Kid swam up and impaled Mr. Poolcheck with his horns. When he pulled out, Kid grabbed the prosthetic hand and ripped it off, chucking it some where into the pool. Bleating, the Sea-Goat rammed his horns into Mr. Poolcheck's chest.

Somehow, the lifeguard knew he was done for.

-*-*-*-

Donnie sighed as he walked with his friends towards the pool for training. Ever since the first day when he offered those doughnuts to the instructor, training has been hellish for him and his friends. However, he would never give up on his dream of being a fully trained lifeguard.

When he arrived at the pool, the teen was very confused at the sight of a man walking away from the pool. He felt very unnerved at the large grin on the man’s face, seeing how his blue and gold eye almost glowed with slight amusement. He wore a fancy looking yellow robe with a black flower print.

“Hey Jin Jong, China is that way!” One of Donnie’s friends shouted, laughing at the man.

Raising an eyebrow, Donnie slapped his friend’s arm. “Seriously? I thought we agreed to never make jokes like that ever again,” he snapped, looking at the man. “Sorry about Larry,” he apologized quickly.

Shaking his head, the man looked at each of the teens. “I assume you are Mr. Poolcheck’s students?” he asked, chuckling when they each nodded warily. “Well, I must say he had an accident, I was just coming to check on the pet he bought from me,” he explained, turning to continue on his way. “It is funny how dangerous a simply swim can be.”

Watching the strange man leave, Donnie looked at his friends. “I will admit that was weird,” he stated. Shaking his head, Donnie went into the pool before screaming at the sight.

The pool was almost completely red as various limbs were floating around. What looked like intestines were coming straight out of a torso. What confirmed the identity of the victim was the prosthetic hand and the floating head.

Turning to puke, Larry was completely disgusted at the sight.

Completely wide eyed, Donnie looked at his friends. “We have to call the police!” He shouted, pulling out his cellphone.

-*-*-*-

“I have to wonder, what kind of sick freak would do this?” Wendy commented, taking pictures as she looked at her partner.

Having just finished asking the teens who called some questions, Dipper shook his head. “According to the witnesses, there was a man who came here to supposedly check on a pet he sold to Mr. Poolcheck. My gut is telling me that he’s involved somehow,” he commented, writing down his observations in his notebook.

Shaking her head, Wendy let out a laugh. “Honestly, that is a reasonable deduction. Problem is you’d have to find the guy first,” she stated.

“Oh trust me, finding people is my specialty,” Dipper grinned, pressing a fist against his partner. “I’ll make sure whoever did this will be put behind bars, no matter what it takes.”

Rolling her eyes, Wendy returned the punch. ”Just don’t turn into another Ford,” she teased, removing the trapper hat she gave to Dipper just so she could ruffle his hair.


End file.
